blueeyeddreamer's notes about this work:
This is just something i thaught of when i read of the charity TWLOHA or to write love on her arms.
A group of saviors
With one main target in mind,
To encourage kids to see the glee in their lives,
And leave hatred behind,
And to help rejoice their minds.
They spotted a girl who needed help,
Named Renee of 19 who was raped as a child.
Then depressed and alone she lived her life,
With a haunting memory and depression on top - all gave her a lot of strife.
She blew her life away in cocaine and weed,
Drowned her sorrows in alcohol and pills,
Then cut her wrist and hurt herself,
For she thought it was the key to release her agony.
They gave her a lending hand,
To go against and face her fear.
Now she has no terror of letting near,
For once she didn't have a care for they're graceful help.
They use celebrities to spread the knowledge,
They use them just to show us,
What one group of friends are capable of doing,
If they do what they wish.
They beg of us to barricade the violence,
And end teen suicide.
For it leads to the reason,
Of why people live a wreck.
Teens need to know we care,
Please let them understand that you care also.
That everyone isn't a bully or backstabber,
That there is people out there that understand and there to give a helping hand.
To Write Love On Her Arms is the name,
They are a group of saviors.
Comments on "Saviors"
I really like this poem.. it's better then the last version of this poem you had even though I did help you.. probably a little be to much also.. you someday will be able to write good poetry without the extrem help of other.. hopefully.
Oh and we forgot them on "letter them near" and you didn't give me credit for helping and making some lines and touching this up for you like you was suppose to. ILLEGALNESS!!
{sigh]
Spelling. You have a spell check, do you not? Please use it.
Grammar. I don't care what you write about, because I see that this is something that means alot to you, but seriously, would you turn in an assignment like this? Proof...Read.
Do it.
Dig it.
yes tophat i would turn in this assignment but i will take ur advice
Yessss. Tophat is right.
My English teacher from the eighth grade would not accept this, simply because it seems like you didn't try to, y'know, proof read this.
But, despite those errors, I am happy to see you trying to better yourself. You're getting better, and I'm glad. You should do good with Tophat tutoring you.
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