LoBD

I used to walk and run around barefoot all the time when I was a kid.

I woke up around half past 6 today. I walked barefoot over to the park, and did some sprints in the field. I decided to take my shirt off, and I walked home like this. The ground felt so good on my feet; I always wanted affection, and today I found out that gravity and earth give you the best massage in the world if you're willing to work with them for it. The warm wind blowing all over me was a bonus, and the morning sun and the dew on the ground, how everything was so misty and sparkling -- that just goes beyond words.

I felt so free when I ran when I was younger. I remember rough housing with my neighbor all the time. He was a lot stronger than I was. It was GREAT!

It's just a flood of beautiful memories, like everything suddenly makes so much sense. It's overwhelming, like a carnival in my brain -- overwhelming in a good way, but that's why my sentences are so fragmented. As if that mattered!

I ran and ran and ran, and I felt so fast, like I did when I was a kid. I also rolled around a little bit. There's nothing else like doing a smooth roll as a brake to your sprints -- I admit my rolls aren't so smooth, though. I should learn some more about aikido/breakfalls. I look forward to this too

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I just came back from the bathroom. I've set up some books and two blocks of wood, one on each stack, on either side of the toilet. This is so I can comfortably squat over the toilet.

Elimination really is a lot easier for me when I squat. I love it. It's a very good stretch, and it also makes every go much, much faster. I've been doing this for a while now, and I'm noticing, even though it's only a little so far, it's helping my flexibility.

The pelvic floor muscles get exercise when you urinate. It would make sense that there would be some natural sort of benefit in squatting to defecate; and going into a deep, heels-flat-on-the-ground squat, you get a very good stretch all over your body, and a lot of strain taken off the pelvic floor muscles.

I don't really care so much about the science behind it these days, though. I just love doing it. It feels great. I think this is also beautiful.

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I've been going to bed earlier. If I stay off the computer later in the day, I'm good to go -- light seems to interfere with my sleep patterns, big time.

I've also been fasting intermittently, and not eating anything late at night. I'm working towards cutting out all food after about 6pm. This is helping me to feel a lot more clear-headed, and it also is beautiful. There's just a really pure and clean feeling I get every time I fast. I also love exercising fasted, like I did today with the sprints. I love it all so much.

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I've been cooking a lot lately. My main focus is making nutritious meals, but also simple meals. My tastes are pretty rustic; one of my favorite beverages is raw apple cider vinegar with blackstrap molasses and cold water. I especially like using unflavored, sodium-free seltzer -- it gives it a great kick. I also love leafy greens with sardines or canned salmon, which I get at very cheap prices at a couple stores near me.

Nuts, seeds, sweet potatoes with cinnamon and butter with a little nutmeg, sardines, canned salmon, oysters, unsweetened chocolate -- Baker's is my favorite -- fresh ground flaxseed, dried figs and dates and fresh bananas once in a while, apples once in a while, and some other fresh fruit when I can afford it, leafy greens from a local farm down the street --

I love it. I love it all. I didn't even mention kelp or miso or mushrooms, and I love all of those too. And plain yogurt on occasion. The sour, tart taste is so great, I can't even explain it.

I've also been making kefir for some months now, and am hoping to get into making homemade cheese and butter.

I love it. I love cooking. I love shopping for food, and I love preparing it. I love eating it. The subtlety of the flavors just keeps getting better and better as the days go by. I still can't get over how great that sweet potato I had the other day tasted. I also found that I prefer the taste of unsalted butter to the taste of salted butter.

I also made a smoothie today with a banana, ground flax, unsweetened cocoa powder, freshly strained kefir, and some water to balance it out. It didn't taste amazing, but it had a refreshing and full flavor to it.

I love fruit so much; berries are some of my favorites. And of course, squatting down into that full squat to check up on the plants just feels great. I love it all.

My knees are also still kind of iffy, and I do have chronic discomfort, but this gives me a lot to research. Diet is one aspect; anatomy and physiology is a whole nother world. I have so much to do. I love that too.

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I've heard that male wild goats lead solitary lives.

I kind of smell like a goat, maybe because I've been showering so infrequently lately. They're a hassle to me, and they also stress me out. I also kind of look like one; I have a pretty thin and wispy beard, and I really don't like shaving, so I look pretty scraggly all the time.

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On a related note, I remember being bored with Walden when I read part of it in high school. Thoreau had a lot to say. I guess these days I do too. Thoreau never married. The wind breathes on my neck; the earth and gravity massage my whole body; that drowsy, sleepy feeling keeps me warm at night.

Nothing lasts forever. My mind and body won't last forever. I won't always be able to sprint and walk. I've had insomnia most of my life, and have also been very sick many times, and also very weak and muscularly debilitated and exhausted, and mentally fatigued and unable to function -- so I don't mean to place too much importance on these things, as if they'll last forever.

But a marriage wouldn't last forever either. So all these things are the best they can be; and they're at least as good as having a partner, given that nothing lasts forever. Everything good is temporary.

But everything bad is temporary, too, so it balances out. Every moment is the best moment.

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I've heard that male wild goats lead solitary lives. I felt like a wild goat when I went walking and sprinting barefoot today. And I feel like one right now.

The morning sun breathed so much life into that field. It was so beautiful.