LoBD

At this point in my life things are getting hard. In my childhood i had to take care of myself at an early age, which made me grow up really fast. I ended up getting pregnant at seventeen. My whole world stopped then. I dont regret it, i love my son with all my heart. I just need to figure out how to make myself grow. I feel like my being is stuck at seventeen. Like my mind and body shut down and stopped working, my only focus has been my son. I havent taken time out for myself, and to be honest i dont have time too. I work many jobs, take care of a household with 4 people in it. When will be my chance? When can i fly away? When will this pay off? I try to put on a fake smile, but i think everyone can see through it. Its not like anyone cares or they would do something to help me. It also doesnt help that i suffer from bpd. (boarderline personality disorder) And try taking care of a mother with bi-polar disorder! We do not get along. I dont know why im here she gave me away when i was 7 to my gramma who lives 2500 miles away from here. I decided to come back last year but im not going to be here for much longer. Time will tell what will happen...